Skank You, Very Much

Recently, I was in a having a formal dress fitted at a local boutique. It was a Tuesday evening & there was only one other customer in the store. She was in her late 40's or early 50's & was a very attractive woman -- pretty face, body in good shape.

It saddened me endlessly to see this beautiful woman trying on lovely gowns a few sizes too small. Why do women do this? It's a crime against nature, I swear. So often you see an otherwise attractive woman wearing an outfit 3 sizes too small. A size 2 suddenly has an unbecoming muffintop but the same lady would be a knockout if she was simply wearing the same outfit in the proper size.

Also depressing is the beautiful woman in an outfit made for hanging on a pole. You see it everywhere, from the clubs to the mall, so I guess this is one unsightly phenomena that's here to stay. I was recently at a wedding where the bride is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in person & has a body most of us only dream of achieving.

But for her gown, she chose a backless, sequined, bedazzled thing that just looked cheap. It makes me sad that so many sisters have so little self-respect or just plain bad taste. I'm by no means a fashionista of any sort. Most days I can be spotted in jeans & a casual shirt so I'm not cutting down on anyone's fashion sense by any means, I promise.

I just don't understand why a woman who would be a knock-out in a classy get-up would choose to be a skank in some midriff-baring, cleavage-line-to-the-navel, butt-crack-exposing anything.

In the case of the woman at the boutique, my societal malaise soon turned to horror. She wanted a specific dress but needed to have the fabric dyed because the available color was too similar to the color of the bridesmaids' dresses.

"Oh, a wedding, no, you don't want to dress like the bridesmaids," the proprieter agreed.

"Well, as the mother of the bride, I just can't," the woman lamented.

Egads! For all of the times I've wished my parents were just slightly more hip, I take it back, every single one. I can't imagine the horror that would stem from having your mother dressed like a mid-priced call girl at your formal wedding.