And a Good Morning to You

There's an annoying Access van driver that idles for extended periods of time near my house. He also litters while he's loitering, which is one of my personal pet peeves. He idles for an hour or more on any given day, sometimes leaving & returning with a snack. While he's hanging, we get to listen to his motor running the whole time. (And a Happy Earth Day to you.) When he finally leaves, my neighbors & I get to take turns cleaning up the garbage blowing in his wake.

A few months ago, someone yelled at him for littering. Whenever that guy steps out of his house, the van takes off, but the vigilante is back to working day shift so the van is polluting our quiet street unmolested once again.

Until today. I was walking my dog & the van pulled up. The driver got out, looked at me, made a huge production of sighing & trudging around his van as though he were being forced to climb Everest. Then he WHIPPED IT OUT & PEED RIGHT ON THE STREET.

Not in the grass. He didn't walk off into the woods. He just peed right there on the street, on the concrete. In the same spot that we all pick up his litter. That kind of did it for me. I'll be the first to admit that when you've got to go, you've got to go. We all have to pee in the woods or on the shoulder of the road sometimes. But I personally strive to find a private place so as not to offend anyone, flash anyone or pee where they play with their children. Who pees on the asphalt of a residential street during morning rush hour?

I phoned the company & complained about all of it - the PEEING, the littering, the loitering. There are countless public bathrooms, parking lots & businesses within 1/2 mile of my street. If he wants to loiter somewhere, he should do it at the gas station, fast-food place or strip mall. The friendly & sympathetic customer-service rep promised to take this matter to his supervisor right away. Hopefully, he'll be told to hang out elsewhere from now on.

But just in case, I'll have my camera in my pocket tomorrow morning. And if he's peeing on my street again, the whole world will get to laugh at his morbidly obese physique, microscopic wang and horribly bad toupee.